June 19, 2019 at 4:00 am #19030Anpu WasetParticipant
Sebai advised during our meeting tonight that it would be okay for us to post reflections of these meetings if we have them. Given what was shared tonight I choose to codify what I experienced as I want to hold onto and maintain the feeling/s I have from it as long as possible.
Sebai said many powerful things tonight. A few things resonated within me that reverberated to the core of my being. They are/were:
1. “The highest repudiation of a person is the repudiation of him/herself from the idea that he/she is an individual ego personality.”
2. “Repudiation of the “idea” that something/anything exists that we should let go of.”
3. “The role sentimentality should play in our interactions with students, family, friends etc.”
Although the teachings routinely state that the “only” thing that exists is the Primeveal Ocean and that all is the appearance of a manifestation of that, it is easy to fall into the trap of believing that we are ego personalities. Especially as students of the teachings. For me the teachings have helped me rid myself of many attachments to time and space. Most of these are things I didn’t particularly care for anyway. However, for the things I have valued, the teachings have allowed me to continue subtle attachments to them with the excuse that because I’m a student of the teachings that I’m not really attached to those things. However, after tonight’s meeting it’s clear that I have yet to repudiate myself from the “idea” that I am a person that actually exists with feelings and desires that are somehow real.
While number 2 above in some ways is a subset of number 1 it is profound in its own way because it eradicates any doubt when engaging in the repudiation process. The subtle attachments that we hold onto we do so because we believe there is value in them. This belief is on a subconscious and/or unconscious level. Repudiation of the “idea” that we are ego personalities for me is akin to intellectual knowledge which of course is important. But repudiation of the “idea” that something/anything exists that we should consider letting go of for me is akin to intuitional knowledge. Or better stated practice, reflection and meditation on this will lead to intuitional knowledge of its inherent truth.
Finally, the role that sentimentality plays in our interactions with our communities brought to light an area where often we “unconsciously believe” that we are ego personalities. Sebai’s example about the Sun “always” being the Light no matter how the rest of Creation reacts to its life-giving rays was dispositive. The Light “never” stops providing its life-giving essence while never being caught up emotionally with what is happening in Creation. No matter what happens in it or not.
Ultimately, it’s one thing to “say” that all that appears to exist is the Primeval Ocean and all is a manifestation of it. It’s another thing to “intuitionally know it.”
Dua Sebai Maa and the Hmu for the Khunm Nfr which “opens the way” to realization of this in an intuitional way!
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