A very poignant post.
Your development with the teachings at this stage of life has led you to certain reflections and questions that do not require faith as much as patience. Patience, in this context, is the application of the teachings allowing time for the spiritual process to unfold, for the spiritual practices to have the intended effect on the personality.
To this end, your first question: “One of my questions is how do an aspirant go about doing their devotional prayers in public places or when they are not at home by their prayer shrine?”
In Shetaut Neter, unlike some religions like Islam where people are encouraged to lay out a mat in public and turn towards Mecca, The Sages of the Wisdom Text extol the virtue of silence and private prayer. In this line, carrying on one’s person, a special amulet or artifact from the personal home shrine, perhaps along with the prayer book or audio recording or reading the daily worship emails can serve to practice while away from home. We have seen how some people who display outward acts of piety are not actually pious. In a broader sense the practice is not to be engaged when at home only but all the time through ones ethical behavior, devotional demeanor and introspective disengagement from egoistic worldly engagements.
Though this point that you mentioned in your statement is not often remarked on: “I have no real reason to be amazed mentally, spiritually and emotionally but I find myself as such.”
Indeed, if you did not previously hear about Neberdjer, through your previous Kemetic studies, then it means those previous studies helped pave the way to your present state of being and capacity to progress to higher levels of the teachings…and this is indeed a good cause to feel amazed and blessed.
About your statement: ”In all that I am adding to my life from the teachings and practices I an also going to add the reading of the Neterian Creed back to my daily prayers, I was often leaving it out, but it seems like something has come over me and wants me to add that…”
You will find that your personality, as it develops in the teachings, will reveal prayers, artifacts, or feelings, that are special to it and that you can perceive as items that help consolidate, galvanize or otherwise support the practices and this is ok. It is to be kept in mind that not all practices or artifacts will have a common interest for all personalities and none are more important than others in terms of their resonance with any particular personality; so the best one at the time is the one that best assists the practice and that can change over time and should not be an overwhelming burden on the personality.
You spent significant time relating thoughts and feelings about your childhood and about your own children and your desire to help and awaken them:
“I sense that I need to continue to teach and set an example of my learning before them even thought they are adults with their own children now. When I lived that way with my children when they were children I experienced the most happiest times with them in my home as I remember. I got off the path and it seemed that everything got messed up but everything is as it should be and because of the illusory parts of it all I am asking you what to do about my desire and will to return myself and what I stood for way back then into a reality in our present lives. I don’t know how much life I have left within this body but I do know that I want to live and speak my truth concerning Neberdjer, all the Neteru’s that represent me and live out my Kamitian religion. I feel like my children have been waiting for me to rise up and continue in a strange way. Can you explain to me what is this process that I am going through? “
This interest and concern are proper in the context of maatian wisdom whereby it is an innate positive righteous desire to want to help others, especially when they are perceived to be close relations like family and children. The maatian context is that all persons coming into the world have done so of their own volition; therefore, our responsibilities are first to our own sustenance and then that of others when they are helpless or inform and then to the extent they are cooperative to that end when they become independent. Additionally, keep in mind that human memory is neither exact nor 100% accurate and sometimes people remember things in ways that are biased by feelings or the effect of purposely forgetting painful events. Therefore, the process of a spiritual aspirant in developing with the teachings and growing to understand the true nature of existence requires developing dispassion even while caring for others to the extent allowed by maatian wisdom and then remaining as a witness to what life brings others in accord with their own aryu.
As to your final question: “why are the illusory issues that can block my path now that I may have over looked?”
The answer to this is that the challenges of ordinary life will bring those issues to the foreground of conscious awareness and at that time they are to be confronted with the same maatian ethical wisdom. Therefore, there is no need to be overly concerned with those when it is firmly understood that Maat is the path and way forward regardless of the challenge and that same Maat lifestyle will abate or even eliminate obstacles that would have come or that may come.