“The extension of the intellect which we possess for the survey of transcendent things, is very narrow; but most ample when it shall perceive with the felicity of self-consciousness.”
Very good; you were able to get a good feeling wir what Neterianism was and is or can be now in the present. It is good you are working with Asr. Anpu as the TOL is an advanced teaching.
Your weekly spiritual practice feels balanced and containing a mixture that will feed the needs of body, soul while challenging the mind as life challenges the heart through ethical choices that all must face in life.
Remember that the foundation of the teaching is comfort and security in its wisdom, preceptorship and your aspiration. To be secure in the wisdom it helps to have a proven legacy that is evident. This lesson provides that insight and for further proofs more independent researches can be done with the same result. With this confidence then there can be trust in the teaching and preceptor. Then what is necessary is trust in oneself even if that means forgiving oneself for past misdeeds or transgressions which are all to be lumped under the cause: “absence of knowing self”—then the task is to move forward to gain that knowledge of self and eradicate the ignorance that gave rise to the knowledge of and belief in the knowledge of not-self “khemn“.