Udja
About your statement: “For me at times when I feel impure or have a lot of worries and anxieties it can make me even feel too impure to practice or more difficult to focus on my mantra as a way to change my mind states.”
Indeed, this negativity that ensues when the mind is feeling bad due to a negative experience and then thwarting the spiritual practices or even allowing oneself to fall back to old patterns, (why try, its no use, let me forget it for now and watch TV and eat whatever I want” then feel bad and come back to the practices—one step forward and two back occurs and also stagnation.
This issue is part of a cascade of negative aryu that has been setup in the unconscious and can sometimes be a daunting aspect of mind to overcome. Again, as stated in another post, the answer is the same, khack-ab (dispassion), and antet begag (continued pursuit without being discouraged {repeated effort}). With these two efforts in applying the teaching given by Aset there will be eventual success. This teaching is so important that it is being reiterated here and is worth repeating again and again. Application of the teaching leads to exhausting and resolving/dissipating the old negative patterns and setting up the new dynamic ones and then there is 5 steps forward and 2 back and 10 and one, etc. and eventual success.
HTP
