Udja, I was uncomfortable at first with posting my thoughts/reflections publicly. I either
1. felt like I got it and didn’t need to “spell it all out”
2. was unsure about some and didn’t want to sound/look foolish
3. wanted to get through the lessons quickly because I thought I was ready for higher levels
4. wanted to protect my thoughts from being changed by “someone else” to where I am not in control of my own way of thinking.
it took me a long time to even accept that I needed a teacher for that reason.
….not sure if any of my reasons pertain to you in any way but reading your abbreviated post reminded me of times when I wanted to write just that much but looking at my other classmates’ posts gave me guidance. Also I grew to trust my preceptor and to understand that my thoughts could be ego driven and the importance of getting feedback to make sure the higher self is served.
……I took a lot of “unplanned” time off and read quite a bit, but without reflections and feedback on my correct understanding, it is like starting over again. This is a great forum to get strong foundation in teachings.