Udja Sebai Maa, Udja Dinah,
Dinah, I am still learning as you are. I have learned that studying Neterianism required a change in my perception of how I learned in the past and expectations of my growth. I have learned not to judge my movement on the path by external situations or results. I learned this the hard way.
I started to study Neterianism under a teacher who had studied under Sebai Maa. Since starting my path over 25 years ago and studying different modalities the idea of spending 2 years before I got to the “meat” of the Netarian practice did not appeal to me, I chose another course. Wrong decision, purely ego based, I thought I was an “advanced student”. The program I chose had no pre-requisite you just jumped in. I jumped deep and hard. I worked 3 days a week, the rest of the time I devoted to study and practice. I transcribed lectures, developed a website and did whatever I was able to support my teacher. I knew I had found the information that would help me reach the goal I had set for myself at 16, discovering “Who I am”. The only thing I could not do was the postures. My teacher had a book with pictures and since I am visually impaired I could not see the pictures. All the modalities I had practiced prior did not include yoga postures, I did not realize the importance of a balanced Shedy practice. l lived in a city that had a Temple, however, my devotion to my teacher did not allow me to take the yoga postures class because of the times the classes were offered. I even offered to pay for private lessons but it never worked out. After about nine months of steady practice I had a “psychotic” episode in one of my meditations and did not know how to handle it. The situation or events had notnhing to do with the competency of the Teacher or the Temple, I know now that all of this was the result of negative aryu (karma). I was “compelled” to stop the practice completely, severed all my worldly relationships and my Netarian relationships and moved to a city where no one knew me. After about a year I was “compelled” to go to the Egyptian Yoga website and investigate the program. On the website Sebai Maa and Seba Dja emphasize a steady and balanced Shedy practice and discuss what can happen if their instructions are not followed. From experience I have learned this to be true for me. I now practice with patience, compassion and at a slow steady pace. My understanding is deeper and abiding now.
I am listening to a 3 part lecture by Sba Dja called “Insight Into Understanding and Overcoming Anger” it is on Blog Talk Radio, here is a link: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/shetautneter/podcast At the end of the first lecture Seba Dja reads a poem she wrote called “The Divine Plan”. She eloquently puts into words what I know from experience to be true. All of our experiences whether they are “good” or “bad” are to assist us in reaching Nehast. I transcribed it from the lecture the best I could and read it often. Also, Hekau is my best friend. I recite the Hekaus during my day, internally when life’s situations challenge me and when I go to sleep each night. It quiets my mind and stops the negative dialogue so I can gain understanding of the lesson the situation has brought me.
Dua Sebai Maa, Dua Seba Dja . . . . and Dua to you, Dinah, for your courage.