Again you have listed many items in the lesson though as you stated you are “operating from your head”. You may be better served by including a brief explanation of each teaching so that it may be better inculcated and there may be more possibility for expansion in any area not fully understood.
Indeed, your experience is not unusual, that of coming from an intellectual place, which is like swimming in the ocean but not diving down but staying at the surface (ignorance and or fear) or even floating (complacency) or surfing (getting by, distracted, enjoying pleasures of senses and body)-never thinking of the inevitable eventual wipe-out. When you dive there is more pressure the deeper you go; expert divers develop the capacity to go down, deeper and stay longer, over time. In the same way even though you may become agree or depressed or hurt at times the thing is to view that as passing clouds and not hold on and when it passes move towards what is positive and true, and where possible, relentlessly, and with growing vigor, that is shemsu udja; and such movement becomes so powerful and distant that it leaves all sorrows behind as it looks only to the spirit which is the goal of all life; then whether you are driving, cooking, showering, sleeping, etc., there is seating (Aset) in a perpetual following/movement (shems) towards the divine higher self. Therefore, continue on your path knowing that in time the lower-self subsides when the movement towards the higher self is sustained.