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Sebai’s Assignment Part A-How did this communication exchange differ from the recommendations of the MAAT teachings each student selected and the communication skills and the Gottman principles that were discussed? List the applicable principles ???citing the forum or video time and date of the applicable discussion and or principles.
Asr Anpu’s Review of Part A– Both the MAAT selections and Gottman principles exercises were done by the Hmu prior to the resumption of Asr Anpu’s participation with the group. Consequently, his engagement in the interaction with Asr Djehuti-Mes was done without that training. Had he done the MAAT selections he would have selected the following teachings:
I have not allowed myself to be consumed with the fire of irritation, anger, fiery or rage.
I have not allowed my mind to think hurriedly and develop ideas and desires without considering ethics and facts with due diligence thereby judging things without proper consideration and thus making impetuous and erroneous fateful decisions in life.
I have not stimulated, agitated, whipped up, roused or stirred up my ego such that it creates turmoil or strife in life.
As it relates to the Gottman principles of being wary of criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling in communications and how these can lead to non-communication and deterioration of relationships and its application to the communication Asr Anpu says the following:
The communication differed from both the MAAT teachings and Gottman principles in a few ways.
First, Asr Anpu allowed himself to get defensive when he thought that Asr Djehuti was checking him for calling him out of his name. According to Gottman allowing oneself to get defensive can lead to stonewalling which it did as later on in the communication he indicated that he no longer wanted to talk to Asr Djehuti-Mes until Sebai Maa and Seba Dja had been consulted. Additionally, contempt then entered the mental space of Asr Anpu towards Asr Djehuti-Mes when Asr Anpu the following day discovered that what Asr Djehuti Mes did not want to be called was “Asr” only. Because Asr Anpu allowed himself to be defensive initially, he did not initially recognize what Asr Djehuti Mes was troubled about. That issue was being called “Asr” only. That initial defensiveness created a mental landscape where he gave away his ability to have compassion for why Asr Djehuti Mes took issue with being called “Asr” only.
Asr Anpu’s interactions with Asr Djehuti Mes were clearly not in accordance with the Maat teachings that he chose above. It’s clear that they were totally ego based and a reaction to the past interactions he has had with Asr Djehuti Mes in this lifetime and possibly previous others.
Sebai’s Assignment Part B-How could the communication interaction have been different if the MAAT teachings each student selected and the communication skills and the Gottman principles that were discussed had been applied? List the applicable principles.
Asr Anpu’s Review of Part B- Intellectually this question is easy to answer. The communication would have been different had Asr Anpu handled his responses to Asr Djehuti Mes in a manner in line with the MAAT teachings that he chose. However, there’s a reason that intellectual knowledge can lead to intuitional knowledge and not the reverse. What causes a reaction in a person, that which stimulates or compels one to do or not do something is ones ariu. Intuition comes from the Ab and whatever is there will come into the conscious once stimulated. This is why we practice the teachings so that we may cleanse our Abs of ego based ariu. However, until all ego based ariu is cleansed, then an aspirant is engaged in the practice of being a witness to what stimulates/compels him/her so that each issue can then be eradicated. At the beginning an aspirant is always recognizing ariu/mental stimulation/issues after they have resulted in some situation that has to be dealt with. As an aspirant matures, they then start being able to see the ariu/stimulation coming up while it happens. This doesn’t mean the aspirant is able to curtail it. Ariu has energy and that energy can be strong. An enlightened aspirant is able to see the ariu/stimulation coming up and curtail any compulsion to act in accordance with it.
Asr Anpu saw the ariu/stimulation coming up when Asr Djehuti Mes asked him if he understood that he didn’t want to be called the name he didn’t want to be called. Asr Anpu immediately mentally recalled the last time Asr Djehuti Mes “went off” on him like this before years ago when he was relatively new to the teachings and thought that Asr Djehuti Mes was a seasoned initiate. These thoughts formed a cloud in the mind of Asr Anpu and the entire discussion after that was done through this filter. Thus Asr Anpu wasn’t able to curtail it.
So, the issue doesn’t appear to be how different the communication interaction could have been had the teachings been applied at the time. The issue seems to be how we as practitioners can make ourselves aware of how these kinds of things happen in everyday life so we can be better prepared to deal with them when they do. In short train ourselves how to “always be watchful over the thoughts in our mind at all times.” How to be vigilant over the thoughts of our minds, recognize how ariu feels and looks when it happens and then we will be better prepared to not allow a communication to go astray like the one that gave rise to Part 1 of this assignment.
Dua Sebai Maa.
Dua Seba Dja.
Dua Fellow Hmu for your Good Association.